Frequently Asked Questions

The Death Readiness Assessment is a 15-question evaluation that helps you understand your current relationship with mortality. It measures your readiness across five key dimensions:

• Current relationship with death
• Openness to exploration
• Practical preparedness
• Barriers and challenges
• Readiness and preferences

You'll receive a personalized score (0-100) and tier classification with specific recommendations for your journey.

The assessment takes 3-5 minutes to complete. Your progress is automatically saved, so you can pause and return within 7 days to finish where you left off.

Yes. Your responses are stored locally in your browser and only submitted when you complete the assessment. We use the data to provide personalized recommendations and (if applicable) contact you about programs that match your needs. We never share or sell your information.

There are four tiers based on your readiness score:

• Deeply Ready (75-100 points): You're remarkably open and prepared for profound work with mortality
• Curious Explorer (50-74 points): You're beginning to explore death with genuine curiosity
• Reluctant Contemplator (25-49 points): You're aware of death but still resistant
• Death Avoider (0-24 points): Death remains largely avoided or denied

Each tier receives specific recommendations and resources tailored to their readiness level.

Yes, you can retake the assessment at any time. Many people retake it every 3-6 months to track their progress in developing a healthier relationship with mortality. Your saved progress expires after 7 days, allowing you to start fresh.

The assessment is a starting point, not a definitive judgment. It reflects your responses in that moment. If your score surprises you, consider:

• Were you answering honestly, or how you think you "should" answer?
• Has your relationship with mortality changed recently?
• Are there specific aspects the questions didn't capture?

The score matters less than the reflection it prompts. Use it as a conversation starter with yourself about where you truly are.

No. Higher scores indicate greater openness to working with mortality, but there's no "correct" place to be. Some people are naturally more contemplative about death; others arrive at readiness through necessity. What matters is your willingness to engage honestly with where you are now.

Talk with Death is an intensive program for people facing serious illness who are exhausted by inspirational advice and ready for brutal clarity. It's a methodology for transforming your relationship with death from terror to partnership.

The program helps you stop performing for others, establish Death as an advisor, and live truthfully in whatever time you have.

This work is specifically for people who:

• Are facing serious illness or terminal diagnosis
• Are exhausted by toxic positivity and inspirational advice
• Feel pressure to perform gratitude, optimism, or strength for others
• Want to stop pretending and start living truthfully
• Are ready to establish an authentic relationship with mortality
• Seek clarity over comfort, truth over inspiration

This is not for people seeking conventional grief counseling, spiritual comfort, or positive thinking frameworks.

The core program is a three-week intensive with pods of four people. Sessions combine one-on-one guidance with small group work. The intimate pod structure creates space for brutal honesty without the burden of performing for a larger audience.

Sessions vary based on where you are in the program and what's arising for you. A typical session might include:

• Direct dialogue about what you're avoiding or pretending about
• Exercises that bring you face-to-face with mortality
• Identifying and dismantling the performances you maintain for others
• Practical work on what you want your remaining time to look like
• Establishing Death as an advisor for decision-making

There's no agenda imposed on you. The work follows what's real and urgent in your life.

It's spiritual, but not religious. Not New Age. Not mystical.

By "spiritual" we mean something specific: the developed capacity to tolerate anxiety without discharging it, sit with ambiguity without resolving it, and hold ambivalence without collapsing into one side.

Jungian analyst James Hollis calls these the "Three A's"—anxiety, ambiguity, and ambivalence—and argues that psychological and spiritual maturity is measured by our capacity to tolerate them, not resolve them. Most approaches try to escape these: emotion discharges anxiety temporarily, logic tries to resolve ambiguity, urgency cuts through ambivalence. But spirituality is what allows you to be with all three.

Spirituality in this work is NOT:

• Religious belief or afterlife promises
• New Age positivity or "everything happens for a reason"
• Transcendence or higher consciousness
• Spiritual bypassing or manufactured meaning
• Comfort or hope as coping mechanism

Spirituality in this work IS:

• The capacity to hold the Three A's: tolerating the anxiety of mortality, sitting with the ambiguity of not knowing when or how, holding the ambivalence of wanting to live AND accepting death
• The felt sense of something larger than ego that can hold paradox without collapsing into terror or performance
• Death as ongoing presence, not one-time conversation
• Groundedness in uncertainty (not peace, not acceptance—groundedness)
• Values that outlast moods

If you have religious beliefs, you're welcome to bring them. We won't try to change them or incorporate them into the work. The methodology operates independently of any belief system about what happens after death.

Traditional therapy often focuses on processing feelings and finding coping mechanisms. Hospice care provides comfort and medical support. Talk with Death is neither of these.

This work is about transformation, not comfort. It's about establishing Death as an active partner in how you live, not something to be managed or coped with. You'll develop a working relationship with mortality that informs every decision.

This complements (not replaces) medical care, therapy, and end-of-life planning. Many participants continue with their therapists and medical teams while doing this work.

Results vary by individual, but participants commonly report:

• Relief from the exhaustion of performing strength or optimism
• Clarity about what actually matters to them
• Ability to have honest conversations with loved ones
• Reduced anxiety about death (not through denial, but through relationship)
• More presence and engagement with daily life
• Freedom to make decisions based on their own values, not others' expectations

This isn't about "feeling better" in a superficial sense. It's about living more truthfully, which often brings both relief and discomfort.

Yes. After completing the core program, you have access to:

• Monthly check-in sessions (optional, additional cost)
• Alumni community for ongoing connection
• Crisis support for acute situations
• Resources and exercises for continued practice

The methodology is designed to be internalized, so you'll have tools you can use independently. But support remains available for those who want it.

Brutal clarity means facing reality without the cushion of euphemism, denial, or forced positivity. It means:

• Calling death what it is, not "passing" or "transitioning"
• Acknowledging that your time is limited without pretending that's okay
• Recognizing that not everything can be fixed or healed
• Being honest about fear, anger, and grief without spiritualizing them away

This isn't cruelty—it's respect. We believe you deserve the truth of your situation, not managed comfort.

Many people facing serious illness exhaust themselves maintaining performances for others: being brave, staying positive, protecting family from their fear, performing gratitude they don't feel. This performance consumes enormous energy and creates profound loneliness.

The work helps you identify these performances and decide—consciously—which ones to continue and which to drop. Some performances serve you. Many don't. You get to choose, rather than being trapped by others' expectations.

This concept draws from Stoic philosophy and existential thought. Instead of treating death as an enemy to fight or a terror to avoid, you establish a working relationship with it. Death becomes a consultant you can turn to for clarity.

When facing a decision—how to spend your time, what relationships to invest in, what to say or leave unsaid—you can ask: "What would Death advise here?" This practice cuts through social expectations and reveals what actually matters to you.

It's not morbid. It's clarifying.

This is a common concern, and it's worth addressing directly.

Many people who are suffering are already exhausted by gentleness that feels false. They're tired of being handled. What they crave is someone who will be real with them—who won't flinch, won't offer platitudes, won't try to make them feel better with hollow comfort.

That said, this approach isn't for everyone. It's specifically for people who are ready for directness and frustrated by softer approaches. During our initial conversation, we'll assess whether this methodology matches what you need.

Being direct isn't the same as being unkind. The work is demanding but deeply respectful of your capacity to face truth.

The methodology draws from several traditions:

• Stoicism: Memento mori, negative visualization, distinguishing what's in our control
• Existentialism: Heidegger's being-toward-death, authentic existence, freedom and responsibility
• Buddhist philosophy: Impermanence, the practice of contemplating death (maranasati)
• Practical psychology: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), exposure-based approaches

These traditions aren't taught academically—they're translated into practical exercises and ways of relating to mortality.

The methodology incorporates principles from evidence-based approaches (particularly Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), but it's not a clinical intervention and hasn't been studied in randomized controlled trials.

There's growing research on death acceptance and its relationship to wellbeing, quality of life in terminal illness, and reduced death anxiety. The work is consistent with this research while going beyond what clinical approaches typically offer.

If you need clinical-level evidence before engaging, this may not be the right fit. If you're looking for something that makes intuitive sense and has helped others in similar situations, we can discuss whether it might help you.

Program pricing is discussed during the initial consultation. Investment varies based on program structure (individual vs. pod) and intensity. Contact us after completing the assessment for specific pricing information.

Priority candidates identified through the assessment receive special consideration for pricing and scheduling.

Yes. All sessions can be conducted via secure video call. The intimate nature of the work doesn't require physical presence. Many participants find that remote sessions allow them to be in their own safe space while doing this intense work.

For remote sessions, you'll need:

• A computer, tablet, or smartphone with a camera
• Stable internet connection
• A private space where you won't be interrupted
• Headphones (recommended for privacy and audio quality)

We use standard video conferencing platforms. Technical setup is simple, and we can assist if you encounter issues.

We understand that illness is unpredictable. The program adapts to your energy and capacity. Sessions can be:

• Shortened when needed
• Rescheduled on short notice
• Conducted from bed if necessary
• Paused during medical crises

The work continues at whatever pace your body allows. What matters is engagement, not perfect attendance.

While the program was developed for people facing serious illness, the methodology applies to anyone wanting to transform their relationship with mortality. However, the intensity and approach assume you're ready for unflinching honesty about death.

Take the assessment to determine if this approach suits where you are. Some people need gentler introduction to death work; others are ready for the direct approach regardless of health status.

Yes. We believe financial constraints shouldn't prevent someone from accessing this work when they need it. Limited sliding scale spots are available based on demonstrated need.

During your initial consultation, let us know if cost is a barrier. We'll discuss options that might work for your situation.

This is not a medical or therapeutic service, so it's not covered by health insurance. However, some participants have successfully used:

• HSA (Health Savings Account) funds
• FSA (Flexible Spending Account) funds
• Employee wellness benefits

We can provide documentation describing the service if needed for reimbursement purposes.

This is internal terminology for someone who shows high readiness for the work: urgent need, investment readiness, decision-making authority, and preference for intensive one-on-one support. These participants tend to get the most from the program and receive priority scheduling.

The assessment identifies potential Cinderella Clients automatically based on specific response patterns. This doesn't mean others won't benefit—it simply helps us match intensity of support to participant readiness.

1. Take the assessment: Complete the Death Readiness Assessment to understand where you are
2. Review your results: Read your personalized tier and recommendations
3. Schedule a consultation: If you're interested in the program, use the contact form to schedule an initial call
4. Initial conversation: We'll discuss whether this approach suits your needs and situation
5. Begin the work: If it's a good fit, we'll schedule your program start date

That's perfectly fine. The assessment itself provides value by helping you understand your current relationship with death. Your results include recommendations for resources and next steps appropriate to your readiness level.

You can also schedule a single consultation session to explore whether this approach resonates before committing to the full program.

Program availability varies based on current participant load and pod scheduling. Priority candidates (identified through the assessment) typically begin within 1-2 weeks. Others may wait 2-4 weeks for the next available pod.

If urgency is a factor (rapidly progressing illness, immediate crisis), mention this in your initial contact. We accommodate urgent situations when possible.

The initial consultation is a 30-minute conversation where we:

• Discuss your situation and what brought you to this work
• Explore what you're hoping to get from the program
• Assess whether this methodology matches your needs
• Answer any questions you have
• Discuss logistics, pricing, and scheduling if you decide to proceed

This isn't a sales call. It's a mutual assessment of fit. We'll be honest if we think another approach might serve you better.

Yes, but with an important caveat: the person receiving the gift must want to do this work. Enrolling someone who isn't ready or willing won't help them.

If you'd like to offer this to someone, we recommend:

• Discussing it with them first to gauge interest
• Having them take the assessment to see where they are
• Letting them initiate contact if they decide to proceed

We can arrange gift certificates or sponsorship arrangements for the right situations.

Fear of death is normal and expected. The question isn't whether you're afraid—most people are. The question is whether you're ready to face that fear rather than continuing to avoid it.

If your fear is so overwhelming that it's paralyzing, you might benefit from starting with a therapist who specializes in anxiety or existential concerns. We can provide referrals.

But if you're scared and also tired of being scared—if some part of you is ready to stop running—this work might be exactly what you need.

Many people expect that confronting death will increase depression, but research and experience often show the opposite. Avoidance and denial require enormous psychological energy. Facing reality—while initially uncomfortable—often brings relief.

That said, this work can surface difficult emotions. If you're currently in a severe depressive episode or experiencing suicidal thoughts, please work with a mental health professional first. We can coordinate with your treatment team if appropriate.

For most people, the work creates space for all emotions—including grief and sadness—while reducing the background anxiety of constant avoidance.

Expected. Welcome, even. Tears and emotional release are a normal part of facing mortality honestly. You don't need to perform composure here.

There's no judgment about how emotions show up. Some people cry throughout; others rarely do. Some get angry; others feel relief. Your emotional responses are yours, and there's no "right" way to do this work.

Yes. Anger is often one of the most honest responses to mortality, especially when illness feels unfair or premature. You don't have to transform your anger into acceptance or gratitude. You're allowed to be furious.

The work isn't about replacing your feelings with "better" ones. It's about having an honest relationship with mortality, which includes whatever emotions actually arise. Anger is often more truthful than forced peace.

Many people carry trauma that intersects with death and mortality—previous losses, near-death experiences, abuse, or other wounds. This work can surface these experiences.

If you have active, unprocessed trauma, we recommend working with a trauma-informed therapist alongside this program. We can coordinate with your therapist to ensure the work supports rather than overwhelms you.

Having trauma doesn't disqualify you from this work, but it does require additional care in how we approach certain topics.

You can stop at any time. There's no commitment to complete the full program if it's not working for you. Your autonomy matters more than our methodology.

That said, we encourage you to distinguish between "this isn't right for me" and "this is hard and I want to escape." The work often gets uncomfortable before it gets clarifying. We'll help you make that distinction.

Yes. Caregivers face their own relationship with death—often complicated by the weight of supporting someone else while managing their own fear and grief. The methodology adapts to the caregiver's position while maintaining its core principle: establishing honest relationship with mortality.

Family sessions are available but require that the person with illness initiates and consents to family participation.

This is one of the most painful situations caregivers face. A few thoughts:

• You can't force someone to engage with their mortality. Their avoidance may be serving a purpose you can't see.
• You can work on your own relationship with their death, which may change the dynamic between you.
• Sometimes, one person facing death honestly creates space for the other to follow.

We offer work specifically for family members in this situation—focusing on what you can control (your own relationship with mortality) rather than what you can't (their readiness).

The most helpful thing you can do is:

• Create space for honesty: Let them share difficult truths without rushing to comfort or fix.
• Drop your own performances: If you're pretending to be stronger than you are, they'll feel pressure to do the same.
• Accept their pace: They may become more direct about death. This isn't morbid—it's what the work teaches.
• Consider your own work: Your relationship with their mortality matters too. You might benefit from parallel support.

Yes, and this can be powerful when both partners are ready. Joint work helps couples:

• Have honest conversations they've been avoiding
• Understand each other's fears and needs
• Make decisions together about end-of-life care
• Stop protecting each other in ways that create distance

However, both partners must want this work. It doesn't help if one is ready and the other is being dragged along. We assess readiness for each person individually.

Talking to children about death is its own specialty. While we don't work directly with children, we can:

• Help you clarify what you want to communicate
• Support you in having honest conversations appropriate to their age
• Refer you to child life specialists or family therapists if needed

The principle remains: children benefit from age-appropriate honesty more than from protection that leaves them confused and anxious.

This work is primarily designed for people facing their own mortality or supporting someone who is dying. For grief after loss, traditional grief counseling or support groups may be more appropriate.

However, if your grief has prompted you to examine your own relationship with death—your own mortality, how you want to live, what remains avoided—then this methodology may offer something valuable.

Take the assessment and see where you are. That will help clarify whether this approach fits your situation.

Assessment data is used to:

• Calculate your readiness score and tier
• Provide personalized recommendations
• Identify whether you're a strong match for intensive programs
• Aggregate anonymous statistics to improve the assessment

We never sell, share, or use your data for marketing beyond our own services. You can request data deletion at any time by contacting us.

Your results are stored temporarily in your browser's session storage (available only during your current browser session). When you submit the assessment, an email notification is sent to us with your responses and score.

No results are permanently stored on external servers unless you explicitly provide contact information and request follow-up.

No, sessions are not recorded unless you specifically request it (for example, to share with a family member who couldn't attend). Any recording requires your explicit consent.

Brief notes may be taken during sessions to track progress and inform future sessions. These notes are confidential and never shared without your permission.

Yes. The website and assessment are designed to meet WCAG 2.1 AA accessibility standards. This includes:

• Keyboard navigation support
• Screen reader compatibility
• Sufficient color contrast
• Clear focus indicators
• Semantic HTML structure

If you encounter accessibility issues, please contact us so we can address them.

We take your privacy seriously:

• All web traffic is encrypted via HTTPS
• Video sessions use end-to-end encrypted platforms
• Contact information is stored securely and never shared
• We comply with applicable privacy regulations

For specific privacy concerns or questions about data handling, please contact us directly.

Yes. You have the right to request deletion of any personal data we hold. This includes:

• Assessment responses and results
• Contact information
• Session notes (if applicable)
• Any correspondence

To request data deletion, contact us with "Data Deletion Request" in the subject line. We'll process your request within 30 days.